I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
