i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Someone shit on the floor
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
even my farts smell like vagina
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
