anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
