Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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