I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
