So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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