So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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