What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
