He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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