Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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