I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
