Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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