You're completely useless in the revolution.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
