this just has baby written all over it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
tell me about the fingering
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