Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's get the cat blown out
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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