In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
