If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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