Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
