If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
