Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
