I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
