No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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