To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize