nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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