Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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