She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
