i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
