You just made me feel so damn special
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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