You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
