I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
