It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
