i just google imaged poop.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
