Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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