$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
