Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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