I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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