i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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