If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Im part way to drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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