I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
