508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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