I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
