Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
