I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So many bounce houses so little time
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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