What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
