ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
