I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
