just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
