i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
as a side note pls kill me
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