porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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