My hand turned me down
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
