My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
