i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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