Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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