I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
